Monday, September 27, 2010

Area E5 Humorous Speech Contest - "A Second Chance"

Here is my Area Contest Winning Speech:

[opening – stay at back of the stage, have friendly eyes and smile – take a deep breath]

Have you ever try to impress a girl? And she thought … you’re a clown. [hand pointing myself]. That was me last week.

It was 6:00am in the morning; the sky [hand up] was still dark. I drove my car in to the parking garage and went up to the 7th floor. On my right hand side was piles of papers and in front my computer was a yellow post-it note… which says “Breakfast For Champions [2 hand up] – Cranberry Oatmeal [hand down]!!”

As usual, I made my cranberries oatmeal for breakfast. After finishing breakfast, I strolled to the kitchen sink to wash my cup. It was rather warm and I noticed the air conditioned was turned off. There is no one around.

Suddenly, I heard “Click”, “Clock” x3 [increase volume]. The footstep becomes louder and louder as it approaches me and it comes to a complete silence. I turned around (360’ turn) and I saw (paused),

“It was Jessica!!” Me and her and………….. no one else.

She looked at me (paused), and I looked at her (paused)… and our eyes met each other right in the middle [hand], like butterfly wings clapping against each other.

Jessica was my dream-girl in the office. I never had a chance to talk to her because she worked in the legal dept [small] and I worked in admin dept [big] accounting. I hold grudge on my mum for not sending me to the law school.

If Jessica is on yelp, I would rate her ....(paused) 10.5.

While I have many secret crushes on my female colleagues, she made it to my Top 5 “G-I-P” list………… “Girlfriend In Progress”

She walked closer to the kitchen sink, right next to me and joined me at the kitchen basin washing her plates.

I was washing my cup and she was washing her plates. I felt like were husband and wife playing with the dishes (paused)

Her elbow accidentally touches mine, and a thought came up [look at sky with hand up], "Is she trying to seduce me?" OR [I couldn’t believe (paused) how smooth…… it was. She activated my heart rate and my heart started [hand hit chest] pound…. louder and louder. I was afraid she could hear… my heartbeat.]

Suddenly a strong deep voice creeps [2 hands out 5] out of my brain, and says… “Kian!! (high volume & paused) You, ought to say something!”

I tilted my head to Jessica and I say (paused) “Do you need more soap?”

I was met with silence.

I meant....... ‘How’s your weekend?”

She looked at me like I’m strange.

She replied “Do you realize it already Thursday?”
She politely continued…. “You meant last week? I went jungle trekking.”

In my mind I thought, “Jungle trekking? If I truly wanted nature, I watched the animal planet”

But to impress her, I say…… “Jungle trekking!! I love jungle trekking” [body lean over]

I didn’t realize my body [stressed on the word – move body] was too excited for her (paused).

I invaded her privacy of her space.
She nodded her head, looks back and stormed away.

“OMG!! Jessica, left me…. She ended our 2 minute romantic experience. We were so close at one time…. And now, I missed my only chance, my only chance… to impress her.

I bombed it!!

I reassessed my life, there are many chances that were presented to me in my life but I totally blew it…. One after another.

As I recalled my memory, 8 years ago, I was working with a Top public accounting firm, with good prospect and career advancement. My boss loves me, like my love for “Jessica”, he cares for me, like good shepherd caring for a wounded lamb – I’m the lamb.

One day, I walked to my boss’s office and handed him a letter. He striped opened the letter and I was met with complete silence.

A minute later, he shouted, “Kian, you’re not leaving us! I won’t accept that!!” [action on holding back the letter]

I hold my resignation letter in my hand [head up]
and I think….. (paused) Is that legal? (tonality)

But my point is, my boss gave me (paused) A Second Chance but I did not take it.

So, yesterday, when I was walking home, reminiscing my old memories, a melodic tone vibrates on my right thigh…. [hand on thigh]

Volume burst out of my pocket.

I took out my phone and saw an unknown caller. I answered…..

Kian: “Hello”
Jess: “Hi, this is Jessica”
Kian: “huh!!….. Jessica”
Jess: “Who is this? Is this Kian?”
Kian: [eyes look at left audience] “No, No….. Can you hold?”

[jump up and dance]

Kian: “Yes? [deep tone] Ohhh…..… Jes-si-ca…, Dinner on Saturday at 7pm?”

Kian: “Hold on, let me check my schedule”
[brush my hair, eye brow, adjust my tie & look right to the floor and Elvis Presley style]

Kian: “How about… (paused) 7:15pm?”

Ladies and gentlemen, do you know what I fear [eye frowned], what will happen this Saturday? Will I make myself a clown again or will I kill it!!

I might walk into the restaurant with my heart pounding so loudly and met again with a deafening silence…… but if never try, I’ll never know.

While there is no second chance to make a first impression, there is always a second chance, if only we take, just a little more risk...… on that next step.

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